There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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