I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
