You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
