We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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