Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
