i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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