you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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