His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
