how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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