I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
