So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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