Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
