she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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