i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
