Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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