if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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