yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
