Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
