That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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