she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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