I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
