Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
