So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
