Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
