would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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