My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
