I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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