I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
