Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
