You made me cry and you don't even care
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
