What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
