Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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