weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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