the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My vagina just clenched in fear
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
