Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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