# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The adults are the big ones right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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