time to smoke my breakfast
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
