I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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