your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
