If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
