I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
someone get that fucking seahorse.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
