i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
