I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
