It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
