i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
