But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
