**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
