The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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