please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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