He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
