i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
