I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
do herpes really smell.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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