are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
